Congrats Precious, you're first!

Well....Here goes nothing....My name is Mike and I'm a rageaholic..maybe...A hater definitely, a sports geek to an absurd level and pretty much just a smart ass with a lot of opinions on just about everything. After talking things over with my co-workers and my wife, I've decided to let myself explode all over this computer screen.....um, that sounds wrong....I mean its time for me to put my opinions out there for the masses (4 people) to read (make fun of) and enjoy (not enjoy)....So on to our first topic...

Precious

No, not the word, or the ring the creepy thing from Lord of the Rings had a hard on for...I'm talking about the movie....I'm sorry, I guess I'm required by law to refer to it as Precious: Based on the novel Push by Sapphire.....

Now, I've never actually seen the movie, so I guess my real issue is with Gabourey Sidibe, the lady who plays Precious......If you don't know who she is, do what we all do, Google her.....and please google image a picture of her so you know where i'm going with this.

Ever since that stupid move came out I keep hearing people say how great she is and how she has a great career in front of her. Can I be real? Really real?? She's fat, no wait, I'm a fat guy and that's a little insulting to me, she's a monster, probably pushing four bills. Before you get angry at me and say I'm being mean, tell me where I'm wrong...She's huge, and that can't be denied. Now quick, name the other successful fat actresses out there? Can't think of one? Ok, I'll give you one, Kathy Bates, now name me another one.....that's right you can't, and that's the reason this lady has peaked, and you'll probably never see her in theatres again (except at the snack bar). In fact, I'll go ahead and put her career on par with that of Mark Holton aka Chubby from Teen Wolf, and the movie we do not speak of (Teen Wolf Too).



They both got their roles in those movies for three reasons 1) They could memorize a script, 2) they were cheap and 3) the directors needed somebody really fat. Again, I'm not being mean, just keeping it real, if you watched the oscars, maybe you noticed that Precious was sitting all by herself at the end of an aisle. The reason for this is because the planners of that show had two options A) cut the arms off one of the seats so she would fit or B) make her sit on a folding chair at the end of the row....they chose B.

Let's face it, she's done, unless they make a Precious 2, which they better make soon 'cause this lady probably doesn't have a lot of time left on this earth. Now, I'm not a medical man, but unless she gets on a strict diet of cocaine and meth, she probably only has a couple of years to walk (slowly waddle) this great planet, so me thinks she has about enough time to guest star in an episode of Law and Order, go Kristie Alley on us and lose a bunch of weight, go Kristie Alley on us and put the weight back on, go Kristie Alley on us and star in a reality show, until finally going out like the mom from What's Eating Gilbert Grape.

You probably think I'm wrong and just being a jerk, which I am for the sake of a laugh. But what other movie do you see her being in? Nobody wants to see a romantic comedy with her in it. She's not running from monsters, so you can scratch any horror movies, and unless Michael Bay's next transformer is in the form of a Rascal, you can scratch out any action movies....Sorry Ms. Sidibe (she is a Ms. right? Dear god, tell me she's a Ms.) but it's the end of the road for you.


Let me know what you guys think.....